Scripture: But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord. 2 Corinthians 3:18 (NKJV)
Observation: Are changed. Literally, “are being changed.” The plan of redemption aims to restore the image of God in man (Rom. 8:29; 1 John 3:2), a transformation that comes about by contemplating Christ (Rom. 12:2; Gal. 4:19). The contemplation of the image of Christ acts upon the moral and spiritual nature as the presence of God did upon the face of Moses. The humblest Christian who constantly looks to Christ as his Redeemer will reflect in his own life something of the glory of Christ. If he faithfully continues to do so, he will go on “from glory to glory” in his personal Christian experience (see 2 Peter 1:5–7).
From glory to glory. This transformation is progressive. It advances from one stage of glory to another. Our spiritual assimilation of Christ comes through His glory and results in a reflection of glory like unto His.
As by the Spirit of the Lord. Literally, “as from the Lord, [the] Spirit.” The spiritual transformation that proceeds from Christ takes place only through the operation of the Holy Spirit, who, having access to the heart, renews, hallows, and glorifies the nature and makes it over into the likeness of Christ’s perfect life. [The Seventh-day Adventist Bible Commentary, Volume 6. 1980 (F. D. Nichol, Ed.) (851). Review and Herald Publishing Association.]
Application: I’ve heard people say that when a man marries a woman, he thinks, “She’s the one I’ve been waiting for. She’ll never change.” – and she always does. At the same time a woman looks at her man, and thinks, “He just needs a little work; after we’re married, I’ll help him change” – and he never does.
In reality both married men and women will change as time goes on. We have learned from biology that every seven years we have totally replaced all the cells in our bodies with new ones. At the same time, our ideas, politics, interests also evolve over the years. Social researchers tell us that personality traits such as introversion and extroversion remain fairly constant throughout our adult lives, but even then we may with time move closer to the middle of these two. Here’s where some conflict in marriage takes place when we make some changes in our personal life but at different rates one from the other. Somehow we hope that our spouses will change for the better. We want them to become more patient, that they will stop unhealthy habits, that they will work less and spend more time with the family, or that they will work more – inside and outside the house, that hey will talk more, or that they will talk less, that they will go to church more, etc. The reality is that all of us are a work in progress.
While we may want to encourage some changes in our spouse’s behavior or attitudes, habits and practices, nagging, cajoling, and arguing will get us nowhere and can actually create more problems and make us even more miserable.
Successful people recognize that the only person you can change is yourself, but it doesn’t mean you have to do it all by yourself; you may enlist your spouse as your partner in self-change. When you are willing, and ready, to change some behavior, tell your spouses about your plan to change and enlist their support. Your request for help could be the energy for marital growth you need to make the changes you desire. Your spouse, no matter what personal faults or issues he/she may have, will appreciate your efforts; in reality, they’ve been hoping we would anyway!
What if your spouse doesn’t want to change? This is where the most powerful tool of marital change comes into play if you are going to have a healthy marriage -- Acceptance. When spouses show each other love and acceptance they respond more quickly to each other’s changes. Be ready to support any effort your partner makes towards change, no matter how tentative or incomplete that effort is. If he or she discloses a desire to change, be ready to help instead of hindering the process. It may be that either one or both of you need professional help, but your role as helpmate is indispensable. You are the one who loves your spouse the most. Become your spouse’s greatest cheerleader!
A Prayer You May Say: Father God, we long to be changed unto the image of Jesus Christ because as we change we may also become better spouses. Help us in that process, and help us to be more accepting of each other and more supportive of one another.
Used by permission of Adventist Family Ministries, North American Division of Seventh-day Adventists.